9 Years 4 Months: Speaking Straight

Speaking straight does not come naturally. Especially in a society where we were always taught to "cakap berlapis" - which is a term telling people to "cover" your speech. Speaking straight is not generally celebrated in Malaysian culture, I think. People who speaks directly were often labelled as rude.

However, social medias such as Twitter have created a platform for people to speak their minds more openly. But that is in the internet. In reality, we still practice speaking our thoughts in an indirect way in general.

As a married couple, I find speaking straight is easy to practice when both of you use the same pop culture reference. It's true, alright? We are a generation who grew up watching Hollywood movies, anime and have fandoms. It is lucky that both of us are (mostly) into the same things. So, when we have to explain our feelings or a situation, we use movies or series as reference. Because speaking directly is just NOT easy.

But, sometimes, speaking straight is the only option you have, or have left. So, during these times, the only way to talk is to just blurt it out. I find that this does not happen often for us. It happened recently during my MBA study, when I was preparing for my final research presentation. That week was the most nerve-wrecking week of my postgraduate life. The presentation only accounted for 10% of the marks, but I am a perfectionist in studies (please read: kiasu) so I still stressed out and actually practiced. Kind of funny now that I think about it. Haha.

So, I spoke up about how I needed space to prepare myself in a very direct way. During previous subjects, I did manage to manage my time efficiently (with LOTS of discipline). It was just the presentation was an individual presentation, with a time limit of 10 minutes and the panels were from outside the university. Naturally, my anxiety was over the roof. He decided to send the kids to their grandparents' for a week. Thank God for grandparents. Deep inside, I did think about how he did not take care of them personally for me. But, with his crazy working hours, that was indeed the best way. I did analyze the situation from his angle, and, it was the best decision.

Speaking straight will most likely get what you want, just maybe not the way you actually want it. It is the end result that matters in the above situation. I got to focus on the presentation (again, kiasu! Lols).

My husband of course felt that I was over-the-top during that time because "...it was only 10 marks!!" He told me waaaaaaayy after the presentation was over. But, he understands me best. I have to treat him BIG TIME once I get my final results.

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