Swapping Schedules

Dearest had a mental breakdown last night because he was scared that I will be angry with him because he was going back to working shift hours. Okay, this needs some background.

When both of our kids were less than 5 years old, I was working office hours and he was working ED (emergency department) shift. It was especially hard for me because both kids needed extra care and attention and I needed to get out to work before 7am every morning to beat the morning traffic. So, of course, it was hard for me especially when he was not around in the morning when I had to rush to prepare them for daycare. It was also hard for me because most of my weekend was spent on doing house chores that I could not get done during the weekdays due to tiredness. Naturally, I was tired all the time...and he was tired all the time, too, due to the irregular working hours. This went on for about 2 years, then I moved to a nearer workplace...but with shift hours too 😅 but, the kids were easier to manage as I did not have to rush to work every day plus my boss was nice with my timetable. This went on for another 2 years.

For the past ~2 years, he was working office hours and I was working in a place with two shift hours. Life felt quite organized recently. So, this was the reason he had a mental breakdown because he was scared he would be a burden.

It is of utmost importance to understand the reason why your partner is doing this.

Both of us are growing; especially in our careers. If we cannot adapt to the current needs and situation, we may not be able to be the best versions of ourselves. After 11 years of marriage, we know each others' core personality and life principles, I think. This is the basis of our trust in one another. So, we believe that we can grow together and be each others' pillar of strength.

So, if you are going through a big change, remember your core. Trust the process and adapt, so both of you can be the best for each other.

(this post started on 15th November 2023 and was finished on 1st March 2024. Ha.)

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